"[...] You'd better get on with your exercises."

"If 1,498 Bruce Waynes were begging you to stop - would you?"

"Guess not." - Chief Karlin, Fletch (1985)

How about 8 billion Jor-Els?

2012 Summer Olympics in London

OK, my first actual post about international soccer (I think)!

I really don't pay that much attention to the news, and had been ho-hum to realize the 2012 Summer Olympics were currently going on yesterday as I enjoyed a meal out at a sports bar - and then I realized: that means there will be international soccer on TV for a few weeks! (Sure, nobody takes the Olympics seriously - nowhere nearly as seriously as people take the World Cup or the Euro Cup - or CONCACAF, for us here in the US - for instance; but it's like have ~20 international friendlies in rapid succession on TV over the next few weeks - yay!)

So, I go to see when the USMNT (the "United States Men's National [Soccer] Team", an abbreviation I use almost every sentence when discussing international soccer, so, in the words of my Calc III TA, "Get used to it") is playing in this year's Olympics, and I discover, to my horror, we evidently failed - to - qualify!

So, I look into the matter a little more deeply, and it turns out 1) we sent our U-23 team to represent us (I'm still not sure if all countries do this; that would take even more of the fun out of watching the Olympics, knowing it is not the actual MNT's playing) and 2) we failed to qualify in March (2012). (I didn't exactly realize we had a U-23 team; when I was a kid, the numbering went by the even numbers - U-6, U-8, U-10, ..., U-18, and then the one outlier, U-21 - so I didn't know international soccer went up to U-23: I thought once you hit 21, you either played with the big boys or hung up the cleats, so that was an interesting learning experience).

Well, at least, there should be some international soccer on TV for the next few weeks (U-23 soccer though it may be). Match play evidently begin this Thursday (07/26/2012) and the Group Phase evidently ends next week Wednesday (08/01/2012). I'll try to post my comments on the occasional interesting match as time and interest permit; enjoy!

20120617 - TATWTC ("Today at the World Trade Centers")

Today at the World Trade Centers, Gordon Aamoth, one of the weekend janitorial crew members, began experimenting with adding mushroom to the Mr. Clean solution he uses to mop the floors on his floor. He had heard about the technique in a Usenet newsposting on the janitorial newsgroups by one of the custodial staff at the Jet Propulsion Labratory, who was said to be an "idiot-savant" at these things. After seeing "night and day" difference the mushrooms added to the Mr. Clean's efficacy, Gordon remarked, "Well, whaddayaknow: it works just fine!"

"Beware the Ides of March!"

I know last week I promised to talk on the element manganese, but this week's STEM talk will be devoted instead to the element cobalt.

Per the Wikipedia article, Swedish chemist Georg Brandt is credited with discovering cobalt circa 1735. "The atomic number of [cobalt] is [27]." Co-59 is the only known stable isotope of cobalt. When found in pure form, it is a metallic grey in color; however, it is one of the few metals that is naturally found only in chemically combined form. It is naturally a solid at room temperature (mercury is the only metal that is not solid at room temperature) and has a melting point of 2,723 F.

Cobalt can be a poison. The LD-50 value for soluble cobalt salts has been estimated to be between 150 and 500 mg/kg.

"[...] You type in the code first, then slide the card."

"I'm Watching For Speeders."

http://bit.ly/z5jg9N

 "Oh, good, they work; because, I just bought them yesterday."

 (On a completely unrelated note, does anyone know if it's possible to teach a dog to play foursquare [the ball game, not the smartphone app]? Would the nationality of the dog be an important regressive variable? http://imdb.to/2ulT4f)

And here is the history of the Canadian Men's National Soccer Team (yes, I know, it's the first actual post actually relating to soccer I've made on this blog; sue me!): http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Canada_men%27s_national_soccer_team#History

"Who'd Win?"

The title is (or, at least, was) a common subject header for postings in the rec.arts.comics.* Usenet hierarchies. The articles went on to solicit opinions on which of two super-heroes would win on a fair, one-on-one combat. Here is my small contribution to that literature:

Who'd win if Dug (of Up fame) went head-to-head with Rhino (of Bolt fame)?

Of course, if Dug ever got Rhino out of the hamster ball, my money would be on Dug; failing that, I think Dug might be in mortal peril of having his neck snapped (talking dog collar and all).

Next week, we'll take on the greatest fanboy conflict of all time:

Children's Games

Is it true Marco Polo invented the song "Dueling Banjos"?

I was having a conversation about this very topic with one of the invitees of my one of my neighbors in the parking lot of my apartment complex this very afternoon during a shish kabob cookout, so I did some Googling/Wikipedia'ing. Here are some partial results:

Marco Polo was born in the year 1254 (his exact date of birth is unknown, so I will be unable to light a candle on his birthday) and died on January 9, 1324. He is of course most famous for going behind the Great Wall of China and initiating trade relations between China and the Western World.

Banjos with fingerboards and tuning pegs are known from the Caribbean as early as the 17th Century. As some of my Math 111 students may remember from my problems for them on using carbon dating to establish authenticity of ancient artifacts as an application of exponential functions, this would pretty much put Marco Polo out of the running to have invented (or imported from Chinese culture - another hypothesis that initially may have seemed scientifically viable) the song "Dueling Banjos" for the banjo by about 300 years.

However, it is possible that the song was invented for another, older instrument circa 1300 AD and "ported" to the banjo. Unfortunately, a cursory internet search reveals that the song was composed in 1955 by Arthur "Guitar Boogie" Smith, putting the aspiring musician Mr. Polo out of the running by about 500 years this time.

(Click here to see what's inside!)

That's all for now. Next week, I hope to talk a little bit about the element manganese (if you don't know what that is, you might try Googling/Wikipedia'ing it) and the Lingerie Football League's Lingerie Bowl IX.

"Stunt Doubles, Only!"

"We are not in the situation of poor Alexander the Great, who wept, as well indeed he might, because there were no more worlds to conquer." - Washington Irving, Salmagundi : Or, The Whim-whams and Opinions of Launcelot Langstaff, Esq. and Others (1835)

 This is not the exact book that David St. Hubbins lists as being in his "Namesake [Sequence] of Cassettes" as being read by Julius Erving (or, "Dr. J", as they call him in his team's town of Philadephia - coincidentally, the town from which Virgil Tibbs hails, IIRC ...) but which has just made my Namesake Sequence of MP3s.

From Wikipedia's entry on Islamic Views of Jesus's Death, "Muslims believe He [Jesus] was raised to Heaven without being put on the cross and God transformed another person to appear exactly like Jesus who was crucified instead of Jesus. Jesus ascended bodily to Heaven, there to remain until his Second Coming in the End Days." There is no Islamic consensus on who precisely took Jesus's place on the cross, but here is one popular theory:

Ibn Abbas said, "Just before Allah raised Jesus to the Heavens, Jesus went to his disciples, who were twelve inside the house. When he arrived, his hair was dripping with water (as if he had just had a bath) and he said, 'There are those among you who will disbelieve in me twelve times after you had believed in me.' He then asked, 'Who among you will volunteer for his appearance to be transformed into mine, and be killed in my place. Whoever volunteers for that, he will be with me (in Paradise).' One of the youngest ones among them volunteered, but Jesus asked him to sit down. Jesus asked again for a volunteer, and the same young man volunteered and Jesus asked him to sit down again. Then the young man volunteered a third time and Jesus said, 'You will be that man,' and the resemblance of Jesus was cast over that man while Jesus ascended to Heaven from a hole in the roof of the house. When the Jews came looking for Jesus, they found that young man and crucified him."
  - Al-Nasa'i, Al-Kubra, 6:489

I like to believe that this is the correct theory, and that this man's name was Alexander, and that, when he is reunited with Jesus in Paradise, he too will "[weep], as well indeed he might, because there [are] no more worlds to conquer."

Update 10/26/2013: Well, maybe one world left to conquer

Rügen Island Vice

I have a theory that Martha Wayne used to secretly go clubbing on the town using the pseudonym "Kathy Roland", and it was something she said one night while doing this <Mary Reilly> that led to her and Thomas Wayne's fatal encounter with Joey Chill, not Thomas Wayne's testimony against the gang boss Lew Moxon several decades before; does anyone know if there is evidence in the comic book literature to support this hypothesis?

Update 08/06/2012: It may have had something to do with her t-shirt is a competing theory that has emerged.

Stone'enge!

Just a quick little Disney pic for today:

Find this image and more in Henry M. Caroselli's book Cult of the Mouse. (Don't worry: Steve Hassan - bestselling author of Combatting Cult Mind Control - assures me personally via email Disney doesn't meet his official criteria for a destructive cult :)) (OK, it's a small joke; I actually found the image at <http://bit.ly/wWIZFg>.)

Hello, World!

Hello, world!

This will be my new blog on the wonderful world of international soccer (as seen through the eyes of an avid spectator who was captain of his US high school team - twice! - but didn't quite qualify for his college team), junior college teaching in Buffalo, NY, and mayhap even the small amount of higher mathematics research.

Feel free to come along for the ride!